Hotel Bathroom Rules
Just back from a few days in Beijing for sightseeing. Pictures soon. In the meantime just a couple of thoughts about hotels.
After checking in and famished I sat down to some cheese and crackers. I dropped a piece of cheese on the carpet and automatically simultaneously reached for it and began calculating whether the 1-second or the 5-second rule applied in this case. But before my fingers could even reach the runaway cheese I decided that we need a new rule for hotel floors - and that would be the 12-inch rule. If an article of food comes within 12-inches of a hotel carpet or bedspread it is no longer considered food and must be thrown in the garbage can using tongs. The tongs must be supplied by the hotel.
The other new rule I developed on the same day is the contractors' bathroom test rule. The contractors that design and install hotel bathrooms must actually set on the toilet before they install anything. As it is now, I think contractors liven up their otherwise dull lives by figuring out new and novel ways of putting hotel guests through contortions the human body was not designed for. In the bathroom of the otherwise excellent hotel we stayed in the toilet paper dispenser was actually located behind the toilet and four inches off the floor. I'm not kidding. To grab paper one has to bend and twist in a way that is not pretty. To top it off they had placed a wall-mounted phone next to the toilet in just such a position as to put ones shoulder up against the dial pad. So every time someone uses the toilet they automatically dial the front desk - who I imagine thoroughly enjoy listening to their guests curse indignantly every time they reach for the toilet paper.
After checking in and famished I sat down to some cheese and crackers. I dropped a piece of cheese on the carpet and automatically simultaneously reached for it and began calculating whether the 1-second or the 5-second rule applied in this case. But before my fingers could even reach the runaway cheese I decided that we need a new rule for hotel floors - and that would be the 12-inch rule. If an article of food comes within 12-inches of a hotel carpet or bedspread it is no longer considered food and must be thrown in the garbage can using tongs. The tongs must be supplied by the hotel.
The other new rule I developed on the same day is the contractors' bathroom test rule. The contractors that design and install hotel bathrooms must actually set on the toilet before they install anything. As it is now, I think contractors liven up their otherwise dull lives by figuring out new and novel ways of putting hotel guests through contortions the human body was not designed for. In the bathroom of the otherwise excellent hotel we stayed in the toilet paper dispenser was actually located behind the toilet and four inches off the floor. I'm not kidding. To grab paper one has to bend and twist in a way that is not pretty. To top it off they had placed a wall-mounted phone next to the toilet in just such a position as to put ones shoulder up against the dial pad. So every time someone uses the toilet they automatically dial the front desk - who I imagine thoroughly enjoy listening to their guests curse indignantly every time they reach for the toilet paper.
posted by Kevcham at 7:07 AM
1 Comments:
We got so used to having a phone in the hotel bathroom while in China that when we got to Bangkok one of the kids said "this must be a crummy hotel, there isn't a phone in the bathroom".
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