The Far Far

I’ve heard a number of acquaintances say how they look forward to having an “empty nest” when their children go off to college or get married. I can’t imagine what they are talking about. We recently went through the transition to college with our one and only child and it was not something I was looking forward to. Of course I’m happy that he is enjoying the excitement of freedom and independence and the once-in-a-lifetime college experience but – for us, the absence of the child is hard to get used to and it’s nothing we looked forward to.

It’s particularly difficult when the college is on the other side of the world and weekend visits are not possible. When I went off to college it was just 70 miles away and I came back to my parents’ home every weekend to work a weekend restaurant job in my hometown, do the laundry, and see family and friends. The weekdays were spent in my closet-sized college town rental focused on my classes and activism. It was a great situation – both my parents and I had freedom but we saw each other every weekend. There’s something to be said for what I call the “near far”.

The “far far” is something expats need to figure into their plans sometimes.