And the Oscar goes to....

Since pirated movie DVDs often hit the streets in Shanghai before the DVD is released in the US it should have come as no surprise that the results of the Academy Awards were in the newspapers here on Friday. I won't tell you who won - I don't want to spoil it for you.

Hold it until we get to Beijing, Please.

Do you know how much it costs to flush at 30,000 ft? According to China Eastern Airlines it costs a liter of fuel - enough for a QQ (a tiny car made in China) to run at least 10 kilometers. So now the airline is asking passengers to visit the loo BEFORE they get on the flight. Are they going to post a parental figure at the door of the plane to ask everyone, "did you go to the bathroom?"

Now I understand why the stewardess was giving me the evil eye when I went to the bathroom on my last flight. If shaming passengers into holding it doesn't work will they start charging us to go?

Counting Faiths

Statistics in China are usually suspect but when I saw this report about the numbers of people in China that are religious I couldn't help but notice that the official figures were off - but by a mere 200 million people. The government says 100 million are religious. Survey sez... 300 million.

Fireworks and American Idol

Five days into the Lunar New Year and the fireworks are still going off outside. The fireworks industry in the US would love to have a week-long holiday celebrated with fireworks. I don't think that's going to happen though.

Oddly enough, fireworks were banned in many Chinese cities a few years ago but, like so many other laws and regulations in China, they were just ignored.

I've been reading and studying this evening. The English-language TV channel here (Star World) has been airing American Idol all evening - around four hours of it. I'll be so glad when that show is finished for the season. I just can't stand watching people publicly humiliated.

My three-day holiday ends today and tomorrow it's back to work. Most Chinese companies will still be closed for the rest of the week so it will be rather quiet.

A Conversation in the Green Room

I just finished reading "The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama. A colleague at work loaned the book to me. It's not easy to get a good selection of (English) books in China so we swap books out of each others' libraries. It's an effective way to broaden one's reading horizons in the absence of a good public library. The Obama book is thoughtful, enlightening, but most of all positive.

While I was reading his book I caught an interview of Ariana Huffington on CNN and it reminded me of a conversation I had with her over 16 years ago. We were both in LA being interviewed on a talk show about books. We were squeezed into a tiny waiting room and I was enquiring about her book - it was about Picasso I believe. Then she mentioned something that came as quite a shock to me. In passing, she mentioned that she had researchers to do all the research for her book. Researchers? To do your research? "What did you do?" I thought to myself.

After we finished our interviews she asked me to send her a copy of my book - for her husband. I did. I never received a thank you. But he later ran unsuccessfully for US Senator and they split up. I wonder who got my book?

I wonder if Obama did his own research? I bet he did.

Can't Watch Human Rights Watch

Today I was wanting to read a report on China that the non-profit non-governmental organization called Human Rights Watch published recently. For some reason that I can't quite fathom, the Internet censors in China have blocked Internet access to the Human Rights Watch website. I wonder why?

If you are outside of China you may be able to access it.

Happy Year of the Pig

This is my second Chinese New Year celebration in Shanghai. It's just like last year's with the exception that it's the year of the pig this go round. I reprint my reaction last year:

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Year of the DogAs I write this the city is under siege. The windows are shuddering with the reverberations of explosions from all directions. The sky is alight even though it is 11 pm on a Saturday night. The Year of the Dog has arrived and I'm experiencing Chinese New Year in China. The fireworks started almost six hours ago and haven't let up. I'm told it will last until 3 am.I've seen more elaborate firework displays but under controlled conditions. This is total chaos. Everyone is throwing little bombs around and shooting fireworks over rooftops. Every neighborhood has its own fireworks display. Even the little compound I live in had a fireworks display - not 50 feet away from my balcony. The workers carried several large cardboard boxes - fireworks displays-in-a-box out and set them alight. The boxes were self-contained and sequenced displays that lasted 10-minutes each. No need for lighting each rocket. One of the kits was lit upside down by error and shot rockets against the side of the neighbors house until one brave worker righted it.The Chinese TV networks are featuring variety show extravaganzas tonight. The Rod Stewart exploding hair fashion is definitely in here. Rap is in. So is singing one line of your song in English. One good group I listened to looked like The Cure.Well, gotta go, in celebration of the Year o' the Dog the Cartoon Channel (Asia) is showing all the Courage the Cowardly Dog episodes back-to-back. I can't wait until the Year of Cow & Chicken.

 

 

Happy New (Chinese) Year 

What Color Would You Make It?

Momlls brought this news item to my attention. One can only speculate about the reasoning behind what seems to be a huge waste of money for a small town in southern China. The salient aspect of the story is that no one in the town asks or knows why it's being done. In a land where edicts come down from above with no explanation, and none expected, the story of the astroturf mountain is not all that unusual.

The face of Artyphapen combined with in angle

Momlls likes to turn on the closed captioning when she watches TV not only because it helps capture some of the meaning of the mumbling on the part of actors but also because the mistakes are often humorous. Anyone that does as she does will enjoy reading this.

Super Big Brain Leader Instructs Nitwits on How to Breed Fish

Whenever you need a good chuckle try reading this, the daily news summary from North Korea. I especially like the stories such as today's on how "The Great Leader", Kim Jong-il, "Gives Field Guidance to Primary Seasoning Factory and Power Station". How he can tour a power generating plant and a fish breeding site and immediately absorb all the engineering and ichtheology needed to start giving instructions on how to improve their function is really quite impressive. If only other nations had such brilliant leaders.

Dot the Dragon's Eye

I was at the grand opening of a new business today. There was the traditional lion dance, confetti, firecrackers, flowers in the lapel, and Vanna Whites in qipaos. To awaken the dancing lions (which look like dragons) I was asked to take a writing brush, dip it in red paint and dot the dragon's eye. This "awakens" the dragon and he comes to life and begins the dance accompanied by unbearable clashing of cymbals and banging of drums. Then a few speeches, a ribbon cutting and off we go.

It only took two hours to drive halfway across Shanghai at rushhour to get home.

Hong Kong Grandma 

Spitting Taxi Drivers and Cursing Residents

January was a bad month for Shanghai's taxi-drivers. In an effort to improve manners ahead of Shanghai's 2010 World Expo, the government is targeting two of the drivers' favorite pastimes: spitting and swearing. Spitting out of taxi windows is now forbidden, but thanks to 45,000 paper “spit bags” issued to taxi-drivers by health officials, spitting inside taxis will be ok. The government says the plan aims to “persuade the drivers not to spit in the presence of passengers”. That's nice. I really look forward to riding around in taxis with bags of spit hanging like IVs next to the drivers.

The government is considering a law to fine residents who swear in public. According to one official, the law would not only improve Shanghai’s image but also make it safer because “dirty words often lead to fights”. A spokesman for Shanghai's Civilization Affairs Office said the measure might not be passed; even if it was, it is unclear how it would be enforced.

Rhinoceros! Eat your veggies!

Many Chinese in Shanghai adopt English-ish names. There are many Jack Wangs, Tony Lius, and Candice Wus around. Sometimes you run into some more unusual names. Names like Rhinoceros Lu, Echo Wang, and Seven Hu. I always wonder how they got these unusual names. Often, they were given these names by their (occasionally cruel) Western English teachers. Sometimes they pick them out of Western literature or songs.

I like to mine for new and unique names and try to think of how they might have come by their creative monikers. Here's some good ones on this website from the medical clinic near my home.

I'm Somebody!

I got my first piece of Chinese junkmail today. I've been here over a year now and I've not had a single piece of good ol' junkmail delivered to my home until today. I was beginning to feel like I was a nobody. No one wanted to sell me anything (except for the Rollexx peddlers, the shoeshine pushers, the pirated CD hawkers, etc etc). But today I feel like Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin) in "The Jerk" when he found his name in the phonebook and knew he had arrived.

What was the mail? It was from "Hola", a furniture store.

That Tired Look will get you kicked off the roads

The Shanghai Daily reports that the city of Chongqing will ban drivers with bags under their eyes from driving during the upcoming Spring Festival. While the concept of banning tired drivers is a good idea the authorities here have come up with a typically unique method to do it. Will they have an eye inspector out looking for baggy eyes? If so, what about those of us that always look tired? It's not fair! It's discrimination against the perpetually ugly.